Baby Prongslet!
by Moony1972
Summary: ON HIATUS. Can also be known as Saving the Potters. Harry travels back in time to the Marauders, and is now forced to hang out with them. Plenty of Marauder fun, and lots of close calls come in hand with discovering who Harry is. But will the Marauders actually find out? Will they end up changing the future? James/Lily
1. Not the Gillyweed!

**A/N: And this is what occurs when I try to write a story with a serious (Sirius?) plot while I'm hyper. Oh well. Enjoy! It's ****_very _****random.**

**Disclaimer: I seriously doubt that Harry Potter would have been as famous had I been the authour. So no, I am not JK Rowling, if I were, I would not be on ...**

Chapter 1: Not the Gillyweed!

"I always knew Myrtle's bathroom was good for something!" Sirius announced, placing a cauldron in the middle of the floor.

Myrtle immediately began to wail.

"I let boys in my room and they insult my home! Waah!"

She dived into a toilet with a deafening splash. Sirius turned around to catch three angry boys staring at him.

"Oops?"

"Oops, Padfoot?" Remus asked, looking horrified. "Show the girl some bloody respect, will you? You're going to get us caught!"

This sent James into hysterics.

"Shut _up_, Prongs!" Remus hissed, getting frustrated.

"Lighten up, Moony. I can only glare at Padfoot for so long. It's not like you have anything to threaten me with…"

Remus gave a smirk suggesting that he _did_ have something he could threaten James with. James widened his eyes and started to work quietly with Sirius, careful not to let out another slip of the tongue.

"What is the potion going to do, again?" Peter asked, staring the potion sloshing around the dirty cauldron.

"Honestly, Wormtail? Are you really that daft?" James asked, looking up at Peter. "How many times must we remind you?"

Sirius snickered, "It's getting up near the number of times James asks Evans out in a day."

"OI!"

"Guys!" Remus hissed, having somewhat of an air of superiority. "Be polite. Work on that blasted potion."

"Well," James said, as he and Sirius turned back to the potion. "It is supposed to make the people relive their best memories."

"It's one of our good pranks," Remus said. "Seeing as I helped. I reckon it's needed in such dark times."

"Oh yeah!" Peter said, realization dawning on his face. "I'm sorry, we just do so many pranks, I keep forgetting!"

The Marauders all rolled their eyes. James decided that he would converse with Peter to keep him quiet and stop him from asking questions that could potentially divert their attention from the potion.

"Okay," Remus said, reading off the book. "You need to stir the potion 22 times counterclockwise now, Padfoot…NO! The other way!"

Sirius started to rotate the spoon in the opposite direction.

"And now you need to add the—"

"GILLYWEED! Honestly, how could you forget? GILLYWEED!" James suddenly exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. This statement was directed at Peter, _not_ Sirius.

"All right," Sirius said, standing up and walking over to the storage cabinet.

"NO!" Remus said, running up to Sirius. "Not the gillyweed!"

Sirius was not paying attention to Remus, but instead, brought the gillyweed next to the cauldron.

"How much?"

"None! Padfoot, none!" Remus screamed, waving his arms protectively around the potion.

James grabbed the potions book and started to show Peter a page in the book.

"You can't possibly forget the gillyweed! Two small pieces will fix the potion!"

Sirius obediently grabbed two pieces of gillyweed.

"Not the gillyweed, Padfoot!" Remus hissed, trying to knock the gillyweed from Sirius' hands.

"But Prongs has the book, and probably knows what he's talking about. Plus, it might make an interesting combination."

"WHAT?!" Remus asked, horrified. "Prongs, bring the book here!" James was too into the intellectual conversation he was having with Peter. "Okay," Remus said, taking some deep breaths. "Padfoot, don't move, _I_ will retrieve the book."

Sirius nodded and froze, making an obnoxious face.

Remus rolled his eyes, got up, and made his way over to James.

"Prongs, I need the book."

"No!" James said, suddenly seeming very protective over the book. "My book! I'm teaching Peter stuff."

Peter nodded, "I'm learning loads of stuff!"

"_Stuff_?" Remus asked, exasperated when the two boys nodded. "We're working on a bloody potion for a _prank_—"

"Not a fun one, though," James pointed out. "This is a happy prank."

"Pranks make people smile!" Remus said, making a grab for the book.

James did some quick thinking in his head and threw the book to Sirius.

"HEY, PADFOOT, CATCH!"

It being an order from James, Sirius suddenly forgot any order Remus asked him to and dropped the gillyweed, catching the book heroically.

"Great catch!" James applauded.

Peter had hobbled over to the potion and stared at it. Remus, Sirius, and James, however, were too busy fighting over a book.

"Oh yeah!" Sirius said, making a bow. "Catch, James!"

James made a spectacular dive at the book, while Remus, hopelessly, tried to make a grab for the book.

"What is this, bloody monkey in the middle?" Remus muttered, jumping again to try and catch the book.

Suddenly, the potion started to bubble, and Peter was still standing next to the potion, _not warning them that the potion seemed as if it were about to explode._

"Hang on," Remus said suddenly, his eyes growing wide.

James and Sirius paused at the trembling sound of Remus' voice.

"If you're playing monkey in the middle with the book, then what did you do with the gillyweed?" Remus asked, dreading the answer he realized he was likely to receive.

Sirius suddenly widened his eyes and glanced towards the cauldron. Peter was still staring at it, not saying anything. In fact, he started to prod the potion with the spoon.

"NO! STOP, PETER!" Remus yelped, knocking Peter away from the cauldron. "Damn it! The potion is going to explode! Sirius, why did you drop the gillyweed?"

Sirius was in no fit state to answer Remus, as he was very busy panicking over the messed up potion.

"PADFOOT!" James bellowed. "Shut up! Let's fix the potion…where's the book?"

Sirius went red and glanced towards a toilet, which was flushing at the moment in time.

"You _flushed_ the book?" James asked. Remus was fuming.

Sirius nodded mutely.

"The potion is going to explode!" Remus yelled, forcing Peter behind him as they ran back.

In all the panic, Sirius brought up an excellent and very productive point.

"It's a good thing I cast the charm to make this room soundproof."

James nodded, but Remus was looking at Sirius incredulously.

"The potion is going to explode, and we can't fix it because in your panicked state you _flushed_ the book down the toilet. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

"I was nervous," Sirius said, chuckling nervously.

Peter looked distraught.

"I'll never be able to learn all the amazing wonders of gillyweed from that book again…it was the only copy in the restricted section, according to James."

Remus was massaging his forehead.

"This is not happening…this is not happening…tell me this is not happening!"

"It's not happening," Peter said loyally. "Except, it is."

"AUGH!" Remus screamed, seeming to have lost it completely. "POTION, EXPLODE ALREADY! THIS PRESSURE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

Sirius seemed to still be stuck on what Peter had said about the gillyweed.

"Wait, so, er, the gillyweed wasn't for this potion? Oh, that's why Moony was telling me not to put it in!" Remus smacked his head.

"You put the gillyweed in the potion?" James asked, completely shocked. "WHY?"

"I, er, thought you were reading off the page…"

"And," Remus said, breathing heavily. "He thought it would be fun to experiment."

"You _what_?" James asked.

But experimenting is how people learn, right?" Peter pointed out.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose.

Suddenly, without warning (because clearly this whole setup wasn't enough), the potion exploded upwards, launching the ceiling and all of the people with some sticky, goop-like substance. The room fell silent. Except for Myrtle's wailing. And then Sirius'.

"MY HAIR! MY HAIR!"

"Your hair?" Remus asked, completely bewildered. "A potion just exploded that we have no idea of the side effects and you are worried about your _hair_?"

Peter started to play with the murky goop. He smeared it on his cheek and chin.

"Ahoy, matey! I'm Hagrid!"

"Since when did Hagrid become a pirate, Wormtail?" James asked curiously.

Peter blushed, although it was not visible through the goop.

"This might make my skin all soft!" Sirius declared, and started to smear the goop generously all over his body.

Remus stared at the scene before him. He was shaking in fury.

"_Guys_! A potion exploded! Let's get out of here before we are found!"

This led to Myrtle giggling insanely.

"Come visit me again sometime."

She started to make her way closer to James, which gave him the incentive to get out of the bathroom _as quickly as possible_.

"Okay, let's get out of here!"

Sirius and Peter obediently followed, which put Remus into a sourer mood than he was in before.

"So everyone listens to him and not me?" he asked, pouting.

He didn't receive an answer.

"This potion was the best invention ever!" James exclaimed, quietly so they wouldn't get caught.

"It made my skin all soft," Sirius sighed.

"I could play dress-up," Peter said dreamily.

"And there was a bloody explosion that could have got us killed," Remus hissed angrily.

"Nothing happened, though, Moony," James pointed out as they passed the Fat Lady.

For some reason, Remus had the sinking feeling that the potion had more side effects than providing soft skin.

**A/N: What do you think? And yes, this story does have a plot...should I continue this?**


	2. The Boy Who Lived

**Chapter 2: The Boy Who Lived**

**A/N: Hey! I just wanted to thank all the readers for the support on this story. I mean, seriously, I didn't expect it to be this popular! 10 followers! **

**For the wonderful support, I posted another chapter. Early. I hope it's not too bad. It's a little short, so I promise that the next chapter will be longer. Probably 4k words.**

**Disclaimer: Let us be thankful that I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. **

Harry Potter was not enjoying his summer. No. He never enjoyed any of his summers. The Dursleys were rude and abused him. But Dumbledore always sent him back to them for the summer for reasons unknown. And Dumbledore was being mean. He didn't write to Harry to tell him what was going on in the wizarding world. Nor were his friends. They probably wouldn't even notice if he had disappeared. Yes, that's right. The-Boy-Who-Lived was not important enough to even write to. And Sirius would not write to him either. He had no idea what was going on outside the world of his house. And Dumbledore forbid him to receive the Daily Prophet. Damn.

So Harry had tried to find new ways to find out what was going on in the Wizarding World. And this meant that he had to sneak outside and listen to the Muggle news. He had to sneak because of his favourite aunt and uncle thought he was plotting something when he was listening to the news.

Damn Voldemort. If it weren't for him, he wouldn't be lying a bush straining his ears, trying to listen to _Muggle_ news. Mean person. But then again, his parents might try to avoid him like their friends were doing. Oh well. Still, damn Voldemort for coming back and taking over his life. Damn Voldemort for getting Cedric Diggory and not letting him sleep peacefully at night. And damn Pettigrew for adding to this mess and bring Voldemort back to life.

Yes. Harry concluded that he just has bad luck.

While Harry was busy cursing everything he could think of, he felt a sudden tug. Damn. He didn't want more adventure. So he quickly checked his pocket for his wand and made a run to grab his trunk and broomstick. Because tugs clearly meant to panic. So he panicked.

He ignored Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's shouts of "Boy!" and ran to his room. He had a small debate in his head over which he should pick up if he felt a tug. Because tugs are bad. And it probably meant adventure. This was not good. So, he chose his broomstick in the spur of the moment because that made him happy. Then he sat on his bed and waited for the tugging sensation to start again.

Wait, he was waiting for a tugging sensation to start? Yes, Harry concluded he was going crazy. Damn. This is what happens when he has a lack of social contact. He starts talking to himself and getting distracted from the news because of bloody tugging sensations.

And then Harry felt the tugging sensation again. Yes, it is time to panic, Harry decided. So he grabbed his broomstick and stuffed his wand into his pocket and started to run around the room. This was making a lot of noise, and his uncle was not happy.

"BOY? WHAT NONSENSE ARE YOU UP TO UP THERE?"

Harry didn't answer, but had another spur of the moment decision. Harry decided that if this tugging sensation were Voldemort calling him to him, he would have to look better. Not like a Muggle. So, he dressed into his black Hogwarts robes that he thought made him look epic. He posed into a heroic pose and waited for the tugging to take him to Voldemort. Because he was going to fight Voldemort with a broomstick and a wand in his Hogwarts robes. He was just that cool. Because he was the boy who lived, or 'Boy' for short as his uncle called him.

As the tugging became more and more violent, Harry started to freak out some more at his spur of the moment ideas. Had he really just chose his broomstick as a weapon to fight Voldemort? But it made him happy, and if he was going for a long time, he would be suffering from some terrible withdrawal symptoms, and that would make him sad. Harry didn't want to be sad. So he held his broomstick with more confidence.

"BOY!" Uncle Vernon's voice rang in his ears.

This was not good. When Harry was being summoned to Voldemort, he didn't want the last voice he heard be Uncle Vernon's calling of 'Boy'. No, that would not be cool. So he tried fervently to think of someone else's voice.

"Harry Potter..." a high pitched voice said in his ear.

Harry shook his head. No, he didn't want to think of Voldemort either.

"Harry, why would you choose your broomstick over books? No! Harry, drop your broom and live with the books!" a furious female voice called into his ear.

No! It hurt to think of Hermione, who had forgotten him. He didn't want to think of a furious Hermione before he left to go and see Voldemort. That had to be a bad omen.

The tugging got more furious and Harry was unable to think of any other good voices that might make him smile. Damn. Harry really had the worst of luck. His brain didn't quite work.

Suddenly, his room began to disappear. No! Harry wasn't ready! He held onto his broom and dropped his wand at the last moment. Harry started to panic. This was not good. He was being summoned to Voldemort and he dropped his wand. Now he would have to fight Voldemort with his broomstick in Hogwarts robes. What would he do with the broomstick? Have fun flying with Voldemort?

So Harry tried to run away from the terrible tugging feeling and back into his room. This was especially difficult because he could not see it. But he had plenty of practice of groping his way around the room from when Dudley wore Harry's glasses. Because when Dudley couldn't see, he was as much of a threat as Voldemort.

Using his practiced hands, Harry felt his wand and closed his fingers around it. Then he let the tugging take him. Privet Drive disappeared and Harry felt himself surrounded with a blinding white light.

It was taking a little long. The pressure was too much for Harry as he thought he might explode. How would he fight Voldemort if he was not allowed to do magic outside of school? He didn't want to get expelled from Hogwarts! So, in another spur of the moment (he seemed to be doing a lot of those), he planned that he would not use magic when fighting Voldemort but fly! Because no one ever tried that before and it might work. Especially for Harry Potter, AKA The-Boy-Who-Lived.

The destination for Harry was not coming soon enough, and it needed to come, because Harry couldn't control the ridiculous thoughts coming into his head. Even if Voldemort were to read his mind, he would be unable to cast the killing curse at Harry because it would all be just so ridiculous. Harry just had to take some deep breaths and all would be well.

Suddenly, something began to materialize around him. An elaborate stoning, if you will. It reminded Harry of some place he had seen before. HOGWARTS!

Wait. Voldemort had gone out of his way to summon Harry to Hogwarts? Under Dumbledore's nose? Was he mental? Or was Dumbledore hurt? Harry couldn't think. He had to go save Dumbledore! Because Dumbledore couldn't protect himself and needed help from a fifteen year old boy. So Harry heroically mounted his broomstick he had been so wise to bring with him and flew towards Dumbledore's office.

Except maybe closing his eyes doing a heroic pose wasn't such a smart idea, because he banged against a wall. Groaning, he dismounted his broomstick. And then he had a horrible thought come into his head. It was dark! That meant it was after curfew at Hogwarts! Automatically, he reached inside his epic Hogwarts robes and realized he didn't have the invisibility cloak! Damn. Harry has bad luck.

But all was well. He would most certainly have the Marauder's Map, right? He wouldn't be dumb enough to forget the Map, would he? When he was being summoned to fight Voldemort, why wouldn't he want to check on what was going on in Hogwarts _in the summer time_? Damn. He didn't have the Map. He only had the stupid Firebolt he had thought to bring in the spur of the moment.

Hang on! It was summer time! So Harry didn't have to worry about getting caught. And he wouldn't be expelled! Harry was so happy, he started to dance.

Until he remembered Voldemort was there, hurting Dumbledore! He had to get onto his broomstick and save the day!

Unfortunately, without the Map, Harry had forgotten how to get to the Headmaster's office. Damn. He really had bad luck. He only figured out he was in the wrong place because he realized he had flown into the Great Hall. And Harry was tired. So, Harry decided that sleep came first because there would be no point saving Dumbledore from Voldemort if it were at his inconvenience. Because The-Boy-Who-Lived was too important to worry about Voldemort and was very busy with other things. Plus, he didn't want to see two people he was mad at. So Harry dozed off.

**A/N: Thoughts? You know, I know this story is getting a lot of views (by my standards, anyway), and I'd be really thankful if some of you would take the time to review the story. Even if it's one word. It makes me happy.**

**Yeah, and sorry Harry appears to be dumb, I do realize that this is probably rather out of character for him. (I realize him forgetting how to get to the Headmaster's office is odd, but it just seemed right when I was writing it...) But he is trying to think fast, and it's hard to inject humour into a tugging feeling...as I said, this story actually has a serious plot, so it's rather hard to write. But you know, the more reviews, the faster I tend to write. As I have discovered in my two days of having an account :)**

**I want to thank my reviewers for the previous chapter: Sunshine72, Red17, and treehugger112010. **


	3. Two Potters?

**A/N: There we go! A longer chapter. Sorry, the Marauders don't quite make an appearance in this chapter...but don't worry! They'll be in a lot more! **

**Disclaimer: To be used for the rest of this story - I am not JK Rowling. I do not plan on being her. Therefore, I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own any of the characters I am borrowing. I am not making any money off of this story. It is just for the amusement of myself as well as others.**

**Chapter 3: Two Potters?**

Did you ever get that feeling that when you woke up, you knew it was going to be a bad day? Because Lily Evans was feeling exactly the same way. And Remus Lupin. And Severus Snape. All three of these people had one thing in common. On November 22 of their fifth year, something did not feel right.

Lily Evans reluctantly got out of bed, despite her bad feeling about the day. She knew that if she were to stay in bed, James bloody Potter would fly into her dorm and 'rescue' her. And if she got out of bed too late, James bloody Potter would be waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. If she waited until James bloody Potter left, then James bloody Potter would ask her out at breakfast. Resigning to her fate, Lily Evans had to get out of bed now before she had to deal with James bloody Potter.

She ran out the door, and then she remembered that she needed pants. Because pants were essential. Especially if she were to meet Potter and his perverted mind. And every other boy in the school. But Potter especially. So she ran back inside and searched for pants. But she did not find pants. Because he supposed friends had hid her pants. So, having to rush to avoid James bloody Potter, she grabbed a skirt and put it on. Unfortunately, this skirt was very short and very loose. But she would have to makedo with this for now. After breakfast, _without any meetings with Potter_, she would change and wear pants. Because pants were essential.

On her way to the Great Hall, Lily was feeling very worried. Because he could not stop thinking about Potter. And she was worried this was turning into some sort of obsession. Lily did not want to be obsessed with a James Potter. Lily did not want to have anything to do with _any_ Potter. Potter was a cursed name and she needed to get it out of her head. Damn James bloody Potter and his bloody mind games.

Upon arriving to the Great Hall, she bumped into someone she knew. Someone she knew very well. It was unnerving, but apparently they both had the idea that they had to get to the Great Hall and eat breakfast hurriedly. Probably for the same reason: to avoid James bloody Potter.

Lily blushed in front of Severus before entering the Great Hall, because she was sure he'd be a gentleman and let her go through first. But no. They collided with each other because they tried to enter at the same time.

"Damn," Severus said, voicing Lily's thoughts exactly. "Evans, if you wanted to go through, you should've just said so."

"Well," Lily said haughtily, pulling up her skirt, which Severus was eyeing carefully. "I thought you'd be the gentleman in the situation."

Severus shrugged his shoulders, still intently watching Lily's skirt. This was exactly what Lily was trying to avoid, the perverted minded boys. But alas, luck was not on her side today. She walked into the Hall, one hand keeping her skirt up, but not too up, because the skirt was so damn short. Damn her _friends_.

Both she and Severus received a shock that was the opposite of what they wanted to see. It was a bad sight. It was one that made Lily want to run out of the Hall and back to her dorm to start this day over if it were not for her bloody skirt.

"POTTER?" she shrieked, glaring at the boy.

The boy started to stir.

"Damn, Potter, you have to come up with better pranks than this," Severus muttered. "I better leave," he added, like the coward he is. Although, Lily reckoned he probably should leave, because Potter would likely hex his clothes off.

* * *

_The butterflies landed on a small blade of grass, in a plain inhabited by many purple unicorns. Harry happily skipped through the field, and then mounted his Firebolt, and flew by the magical unicorns. The purple unicorns loved Harry, and so did he. _

_"POTTER!" _

_The unicorns had learned his name for him! It was exciting, and Harry had never been happier. But it was clear that the purple unicorns still had some work to do. Their voices had sounded very shrieky, and not quite pleasing to the ear. So Harry reckoned he would teach the purple unicorns how to speak. _

_However, he needed to enlist the help of the butterflies on the blade of grass..._

Harry opened his eyes slowly, feeling himself being blinded by the light that had entered the Great Hall.

"Where are the unicorns?" he slurred.

Severus, who had been walking away, turned around, baffled.

"Come again, Potter?"

Lily, however, had better ideas in her head.

"Potter has a unicorn fetish!" she declared, conjuring up a large 'I hate unicorns' sign. "Hah! I hate unicorns, Potter! So you can't like me!"

If Harry was confused before, that was nothing as to what he was feeling now.

"I have to go see Dumbledore," he murmured, getting off the table.

Lily and Severus backed away, seeming to unite over the worry for one James Potter.

"Potter?" Severus asked cautiously.

"What do you bloody want?" Harry asked, staring down at the floor. "I have to find Dumbledore and save him from Voldemort. Where is his office?"

"Wait," Lily said. "You don't know where his office is?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "I forgot. Why are you here, anyway? It's the bloody summer. Go to your homes."

Lily seemed to have become a fish. She kept opening and closing her mouth with nothing to say. Severus snapped out of this shock quickly.

"Go and turn left out of this Hall. Then go straight. And it's not summer," said Severus.

"That's the wrong direction," Lily said, suddenly annoyed. "Potter, turn right."

Harry decided to listen to the female's voice. He picked up his broomstick and walked out of the Great Hall.

"Wait," Severus said suddenly, his wand out. "Aren't you going to hex me?"

Harry rolled his eyes. How could this boy be so daft? He had to go deal with Voldemort!

"Another day, maybe," he sighed as he mounted his broom and flew off.

Severus joined Lily in becoming a fish. Then they both shrugged, at the same time. There was an odd tension in the Great Hall, as both of them were bursting to say something, but at the same time didn't want to. So they settled for sitting at their own House Tables, alone, gaping as if they were a fish.

Harry, on the other hand, suddenly realized he didn't care about getting to the Headmaster's office. Who cared if Voldemort was there? He was having fun flying loop-de-loops on the fastest broom of his time. Dumbledore should learn to protect himself.

And then it hit him. Something fishy was going on. It was summer, so why were there students telling him differently? So, Harry resolved that he was going to have to see Dumbledore, and it wasn't for noble reasons. He flew in the direction the girl had pointed in and whizzed through the halls.

And then he fell. He had toppled into someone, and fell. He fell on top of a sandy haired boy, who groaned and muttered, "I knew this was going to be a bad day."

"Sorry," Harry said, picking up his broomstick. "I hope the rest of your day gets better."

Harry turned around and started to mount his broomstick, when he heard a very confused sounding voice.

"Prongs?"

Harry widened his eyes, too shocked to speak. He kept his head down.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were asleep…"

Harry decided that it would a bad idea to stick around and flew towards Dumbledore's office, leaving Remus _very _confused.

Great. Just brilliant. Of all things that could have happened to Harry when he was at the Dursleys, he got summoned to the past by some odd, tugging sensation. Not to Voldemort, but to the past. And at Hogwarts. And not just any past, but the past when his father existed. Damn. Harry really has the worst of luck.

How was he going to break the news to Dumbledore, if Voldemort wasn't there? He couldn't just be like: Yo Dumbledore! I know you don't know me, I'm from the future, don't mind me, now could he? Besides, he was mad at Dumbledore in the future, so he should be mad at him in the past.

Wait. If this is the past, then why doesn't Harry change the future? It could be perfect! He just needs to feed everyone the right information that Pettigrew is a traitor and be off!

How was he going to get back to the future? He didn't do anything to get stuck here, so how was he going to get out? Would he want to get out? Wouldn't it be fun to bond with his parents and finally get to know them?

Harry couldn't go on thinking much longer, because he had bumped into a stone gargoyle and fell of his broom. It really was too fast to be riding inside. He got up and without thinking, Harry pulled out his wand and said "Alohomora".

The gargoyle didn't open, and Harry started to panic. Until he remembered that he needed a password to enter the office, not a spell. Grumbling about how he didn't want to think, Harry stuffed his wand in his pocket and began to think of random candies.

"Lemon drops! Cockroach clusters!"

After a few minutes of random guesses, Harry concluded that the gargoyle simply hated him and that was why he wasn't allowed in.

"Fine," he said moodily, crossing his arms and turning his back on the gargoyle. "Don't open. Don't expect me to return the favour. In fact, I'm going to go and eat some sweets down in the Great Hall, like a Chocolate Frog _without_ you, because you are so mean. Why do you not like me? I wanted to get in!" Harry said, his voice rising.

When Harry turned around, he received a shock. The gargoyle had opened.

"Chocolate Frogs? I really forgot Chocolate Frogs?" Harry asked no one in particular. "Damn, today is not a good day."

Harry held onto his Firebolt tightly, deciding it was better to hold that instead of his wand. After he made it up the staircase, he knocked on the door three times.

"Enter," a old voice called.

Harry was _about_ to enter when he stopped.

"I need to check something first," Harry said.

The voice inside the room sounded amused, "And why is that?"

"So I know whether to mount my broomstick and have a wand in my hand, or if I can just walk in calmly."

The voice behind the door chuckled.

"Right, so, is Voldemort in there?"

Whatever the Dumbledore had been thinking, it had _not_ been that.

Harry, on the other hand, grew very nervous when Dumbledore did not answer.

"No," the old man replied at last, getting over his shock.

"You hesitated!" Harry announced. "Did he force you to say that? Should I get my wand ready, sir?"

"No, just enter. No one is here but me," Dumbledore said, back to his amused tone of voice.

Harry opened the door and peered inside. There was no sign that Voldemort had been in this office. So Harry strutted into the office and took a seat, twiddling his thumbs.

"I do believe, Mr Potter, that you succeeded in pranking me today," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "Well done. Only took a few hundred tries."

Harry looked up at Dumbledore.

"I've never tried to prank you, sir. In fact, I'm bloody angry at you right now!"

Dumbledore looked aghast. "Language, Mr Potter…you're not Potter."

This was enough. Harry stood up and leaned over towards Dumbledore, in what he thought was a threatening manner. Dumbledore felt it just odd to have a student breathing in his face, so scooted his chair back slightly.

"I AM POTTER! WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO WHAT I SAY? I AM POTTER! I THINK I VERY WELL KNOW WHO I AM, THANK YOU!"

Harry collapsed back down into his chair. Dumbledore thought that it was safe if he were to sit up straight again.

"My apologies, Mr Potter. I merely meant that you are not _James_ Potter."

Harry suddenly remembered that this was the past, he couldn't just get mad at Dumbledore over something he hadn't done yet. Of course, even though he was Dumbledore, he couldn't just know who Harry was!

"Sorry, sir," Harry said sheepishly. "I'm Harry, sir, Harry Potter."

Unlike the people in his own time, Dumbledore had no reaction whatsoever to hearing Harry's name.

"Funny," he said. "You look so much like James Potter…"

"Except I have my mother's eyes, yeah, I know—" Harry blurted out before he could stop myself. "Damn."

Dumbledore did not reprimand Harry for his language, but instead looked at Harry curiously.

"Should I hesitate to ask whether James Potter is your father?"

Harry nodded, and then rapidly shook his head when he realized what he was doing.

"I can see through your lies, Mr Potter. Do not fear me. Can I go as far to wander that you are a time traveller?"

"No, sir!" Harry shook his head with a definite confidence. "I do not time travel on a regular basis. It's not my fault there was a tugging feeling…"

"Ah," Dumbledore said knowingly and calmly, which greatly infuriated Harry as to how Dumbledore was able to act as if this were an everyday affair. "It seems that you were summoned from here, then."

"How?" Harry asked curiously.

"How indeed? That is the question to which I am afraid I do not know the answer," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes boring into Harry's. "May I ask how you got that scar upon your forehead?"

Harry had had enough. He didn't appreciate Dumbledore ogling at his scar like that. How would he like it if Harry started ogling at his broken nose? Well…that would be creepy…DUMBLEDORE HAS A THING FOR SCARS? Harry shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the rubbish conclusions his brain was coming to.

"DO NOT OGLE AT MY SCAR, DUMBLEDORE! THAT'S CREEPY!"

To his surprise and annoyance, Dumbledore merely chuckled.

"You're laughing? _Laughing_? This is not bloody funny! I refuse to tell you about my scar."

"Okay," Dumbledore said, looking into Harry's eyes, as if trying to place whose eyes they might be.

"Please don't look into my eyes like that," Harry said. "It's creepier than when you ogled at my scar."

Dumbledore broke eye contact from the blushing Harry, and decided to talk to Harry while facing his back towards him.

"Does this make you feel better, Mr Potter?" Dumbledore asked the wall in front of him.

"Yes."

"Okay, so what year would you be in?"

"I haven't started my seventh year yet sir. Or my sixth. Or my fifth—"

"Mr Potter. What year are you in?"

"You see, sir, it depends. It's the summer right now, in my world."

"I asking you to interpret my question in both ways it is possible to, Mr Potter. What year would you be starting once the summer is over, and what year is it in your time?"

"I would be starting my fifth year, sir—"

"Curious," Dumbledore said mysteriously. Harry did not like this tone one bit. "Your father would be in your year today as well."

"Sir, if you ask me a question, _do not bloody interrupt me_!"

"Sorry, Mr Potter. But I do request you do not use such foul language in my presence."

"In my time, you would have stated that you have temporarily gone deaf and would not care for my word choice."

"I seem to have gone soft in my older years."

"What are you now, then?" Harry asked, before he could stop himself.

Dumbledore chuckled, and now Harry found it annoying that he could not see Dumbledore's facial expression.

"As I get older, then," Dumbledore rectified. "Now, then, what year is it in your time?"

"1995," Harry replied, without any hesitation.

"Interesting. You seem to have travelled back in time nineteen years. It is 1975 as of now. November 22nd."

Excellent. Harry had managed to travel back in time due to bad luck. Damn. Not that his time would be much better…

"We would have to make a backstory for you, Mr Potter," Dumbledore continued to say to the wall.

"Turn around, sir, you now look like an angry housewife. This is giving me the creeps."

"If I turn around, might I suggest you taking your head out of the gutter, Mr Potter?"

Harry was too shocked that Dumbledore knew that phrase to answer. But he found his tongue.

"Yes, sir."

Dumbledore turned around and continued to speak.

"We must come up with a backstory for you, we can't just tell everyone you're from the future. They may not be quite so…understanding."

"All right, sir," Harry said, getting rather bored with this conversation.

"So, Mr Potter, you are now Nigel Williams-"

"-But sir, I do not want to be Nigel Williams. I am Harry Potter!" Harry exclaimed, suddenly feeling rather attached to his own name he had once wanted to change so badly.

"I am merely telling you that this is a fake name. You have to cooperate, or this will never work out."

Harry wrinkled his nose, thinking about this in the wrong way again.

"Nigel Williams went to Beauxbatons, but his family moved to Britain. He was born in Britain before moving to France, which is where Beauxbatons is located."

"You are lucky that I know French," Harry muttered, not quite so quietly.

"Oh, yes, I do believe I am," Dumbledore said, chuckling. "So, in the future, what House would you be in?"

"Gryffindor."

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore said cheerfully. Harry did not understand how Dumbledore could be so cheerful in such a chaotic time. "You will be able to room with people who call themselves the Marauders. But they're not troublemakers-"

Harry snorted, "I know who the Marauders are, no need to explain."

"Perfect. I'm going to call Lily Evans down here to escort you to the common room, seeing as it's the weekend and is probably already awake."

Harry did not seem to eager to meet Lily Evans; she probably would hate him for being a Potter.

"Ah, yes, and breakfast will start later for your new roommates."

"Brilliant," Harry said, not quite matching the enthusiasm that Dumbledore had.

"Miss Evans should be coming here shortly," Dumbledore said, and he leaned back in his chair.

Harry did the same, and they waited.

* * *

"Miss Evans," McGonagall said, walking into the empty Great Hall. "The Headmaster wishes to see you."

What? How was she going to be able to eat before James bloody Potter strutted into this room again?

"Professor, I need to finish eating."

"Miss Evans, I must insist."

"No," Lily said haughtily. "I don't care if you must insist! This is a matter of life or death!" she announced.

"Miss Evans, you can eat later-"

"I cannot eat later!" Lily cried. "I have to finish eating so I can get out of here BEFORE Potter comes again!"

McGonagall decided that it would be pointless to force Lily into the headmaster's office, especially considering her hatred for Potter.

* * *

Harry waited for a long time. He twiddled his thumbs, brushed his hand over his Firebolt, counted the tiles on the ceiling, flattened down his hair, checked his imaginary watch, and stared down at his shoes trying to get them to change colour. Despite all of the productiveness that he did, Lily Evans had not shown up. Harry was starting to get very frustrated.

"Sir, where is Lily?" Harry asked, clenching his jaw.

"I do believe that she is on her way," Dumbledore said, nodding his head importantly.

"She was on her way half an hour ago!"

"The Hogwarts castle is rather large."

Harry huffed. He officially decided that Dumbledore was a hopeless case and would never give a straight answer.

At last, Lily Evans knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Dumbledore asked, although knowing perfectly well who it was.

"What the heck, Dumbledore! You never ask that! I've been waiting for a long time, I _refuse_ to wait any longer! It is obviously Lily Evans!"

"Er, sir? May I please come in? It's me, Lily Evans."

"YES! COME IN ALREADY!" Harry shouted, running to the door and attempting to yank it open.

"Professor?"

"Might I suggest sitting back down patiently and waiting for me to give my student permission to enter my office, Mr Williams?"

Harry glared at the Professor's use of his new name, but figured it probably was for the best. He took a couple of deep breaths and sat back down in his chair.

"Come in, Miss Evans."

Lily entered the room, looking slightly startled by the conversation she had just had. Harry, on the other hand, was ecstatic. He was getting a glimpse at his mother. In fact, all was well until he remembered that this girl appeared to truly hate him in the Great Hall.

In fact, he would have continued to be able to look at his mother as his mother and not a teenage girl if it weren't for her bottom. Her skirt was overly short and seemed to be threatening to fall down. Harry winced. That was not a sight he would need to see in his lifetime. Although…she was rather attractive…

"Potter…" Lily growled, getting ready to turn around.

"Miss Evans, please, I request you continue to honour us with your presence, as this is not Mr Potter."

Lily widened her eyes.

"Not Potter?" she asked weakly.

"Bonjour," Harry said, making an over the top confident walk up to the red haired girl. "I'm Nigel Williams. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Lily."

He held out his hand to the girl, who did not shake it. Instead, she continued to stare at the boy, breathing heavily.

"W-Williams?"

"I daresay you have Mr Potter too much on your mind, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said cheekily, his blue eyes sparkling.

Much glaring was happening at Dumbledore.

"I DO NOT HAVE POTTER ON MY MIND!"

"Er, Miss Lily?" Harry asked timidly, shocked at his mother's temper.

"Sorry, Williams – er, Nigel, sorry – just had a rough morning…Professor, why have you summoned me?"

"I must ask that you escort Mr Williams to the Gryffindor Common Room, where he is to meet the boys in your year." Lily grimaced at the thought. "He is an exchange student from Beauxbatons, but his parents felt that it would be safer to come to Hogwarts."

"Does Hogwarts even accept exchange students?" Lily wondered aloud, voicing Harry's thoughts. In fact, had Lily not spoken, Harry would have ended up asking that, leading to some very embarrassing consequences. He'd have to get Lily a great Christmas present for that.

"Given the dire circumstances, I have decided to make an exception for Mr Williams. He is an excellent student, after all."

Harry glared at Dumbledore. He was, by no means, an _excellent_ student. Hermione was. Not him. He was failing Potions for crying out loud! Now, all because of Dumbledore, he would have falsely high expectations to live up to. Damn.

"Yes sir. I will promptly escort Nigel Williams," Harry winced at Lily's overusage of the name he was growing to hate more and more. "to the Gryffindor Common Room to meet the boys his age. I will leave him in Remus' care."

Dumbledore nodded, but Harry was frustrated. Surprise.

"I'm not a bloody two year old! I can fend for myself!"

"Oh yes, of course, sorry Nigel Williams. I was trying to sound formal and grown up."

Dumbledore smiled. He seemed to have placed where Harry's eyes had come from.

That sentence, however, made Harry more uncomfortable. It was odd to hear his mother sound like a small child.

"Ah, oui – I mean yes – of course."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as Lily told Harry to get up. Of course, Harry appeared to be having a problem with this notion.

"SIR! MAKE YOUR EYES STOP TWINKLING! I mean, honestly! Do you have to always seem like you know something I don't?"

Lily looked personally hurt by Harry's outburst.

"Come on, Nigel! And don't say that to the Headmaster. Even the Marauders wouldn't do that."

Lily had grabbed Harry's hand and led him away, so Harry was never able to witness Dumbledore's reaction to his outburst. He must admit, it was rather fun to rant at Dumbledore when he actually didn't know about the future. Or did he? It was rather hard to tell, it was the twinkling eyes that always threw him off.

"Look, I'm sorry you're going to have to put up with the boys in my year," Lily said, eager to break the silence.

"I'm sure it'll be no problem…" Harry said slowly, quite unsure of what to say.

"No, I don't think you understand. They're _very_ arrogant, and they're bullies," Lily said earnestly, her eyes wide. "I think Remus should be okay, I'd stick closer to him. If you need, you can always come hang out with me and my friends. I'd love to help and make this move as easy for you as possible."

Harry smiled at his mother's kindness. He supposed that's where he got his kindness from.

"You sound very grown up," Harry said.

Lily blushed. "Thank you."

It was odd that Lily blushed because Harry had called her grown up. It was his _mother_, for Merlin's sake! She's supposed to be mature! This situation was not one that Harry recommended anyone getting into.

Soon they had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Miss Evans. Mr Potter," the portrait acknowledged.

Harry accidentally nodded. Luckily (probably the only lucky thing that happened to him so far), Lily had not noticed.

"No, this isn't Potter," Lily said brightly. "Much nicer bloke, actually. This is Nigel. Nigel Williams."

"Yes, Nigel, that's me," Harry croaked.

The Fat Lady smiled, "Oh, well, welcome!"

"Isn't it just a _splendid_ name?" Lily asked.

Just brilliant. The future had better not be changed so that his name would be Nigel Williams Potter because he stupidly travelled to the future and his mother fell in love with the name. But with Harry's luck, that probably would end up happening. Damn.

"Yes, excellent," the Fat Lady said.

Harry had to admit, despite him being at Hogwarts so long, he just couldn't get used to the fact that he was conversing with a _portrait_.

"The password is Pygmy Puff," Lily said cheerfully. "Aren't they just adorable?"

Harry groaned. Hermione in their First Year was easier to hang out with than his mum.

"Why, yes," the portrait said, opening up.

The two walked into the portrait hole, and Harry tried hard to not say that aloud in his perverted mind. But him trying to distract himself drew his attention back to Lily's skirt, which was worse than thinking about walking into a portrait hole. Just damn. That's all there was to say.

Harry looked up into the Common Room, where four Gryffindor boys were sitting. One of the boys froze when he caught sight of Harry. Harry stared. It was…

**A/N: Yup. You don't get to know who it is. Take a guess!**

**Let us assume one thing that is not canon compliant. Let us assume Harry has already witnessed Snape's Worst Memory, so he has a basic understanding of the Marauders and everything that they do. And yeah, I made Lily a lot more girly, because it wasn't working with her normal personality. But she still has that fiery temper!**

**I'd like to thank my reviewers (this is sounding oddly like some presentation I'm giving, isn't it?) for their great comments and enthusiasm towards my story. I hope this lived up to the expectations.**

**Anywho (I've grown rather attached to that phrase now...blame treehugger.), review! Please! They make me happy and write quickly! They give me inspiration! They help me improve my writing and my confidence!**

**As well, I decided I am going to warn you all in advance, this story is going to keep getting more ridiculous. I decided to make a parody out of serious situations, and it's proving to be a challenge. As well, I'm probably going to change a bit of the timeline for Lily and James' relationship, just by Harry being there. **


	4. The Cheese!

**A/N: Another chapter! Enjoy! I hope I improved Harry's character a bit. And guess what? MARAUDERS!**

**Chapter 4: The Cheese**

…Peter. Damn. Couldn't he have made eye contact with some normal person? No, he just had to focus on the traitor. Couldn't he have a moment's peace?

Peter was stuck, staring at Harry as if he were some alien. He jaw had dropped, Harry reckoned that it was probably going to fall off.

Lily swallowed nervously, eyeing Harry and the messy haired boy whilst keeping her right hand on her skirt.

Peter finally regained usage of his limbs, after suffering from the shock of staring at Harry. He gently tugged at Sirius' robes. Sirius yelped and turned around.

"What, Wormtail?" Sirius asked, before looking up. "Holy…PRONGS!"

James jerked up, and his eyes drew up towards Harry. He screamed. And it wasn't just a regular scream, it was a bloody murder scream. But manly. It wasn't like a girl. Yet Harry did not quite find it attractive to see his father screaming upon seeing him.

"SHUT UP, POTTER!" Lily screamed, surprisingly overpowering James in volume.

Harry winced as he finally came to the conclusion that today was a very bad day. He had to deal with a tugging sensation, coming to the past, visiting a creepy Dumbledore, and now his bloody parents were screaming. His parents who just happened to be teens and were still on the stage where they hated each other.

"What are you bloody screaming about?" Remus asked, annoyed as he plugged his ears.

"Moony, ya know, if you'd look up, you'd see a Prongs clone," Sirius said.

Harry knew he probably should have been happy as he inspected his Godfather as a teenager, but it was hard work. He wouldn't give Harry any information back in the future, and Harry was mad. Harry liked to hold grudges. But he had to see sense. So instead of focusing on the lovely situation at hand and helping Lily try and introduce him, he focused on reasoning with himself why he _shouldn't _be mad at Sirius because he hadn't committed any crime yet.

This was a hard task. It was like arguing with himself. It was clear that Harry's head was not a nice debate, as he just couldn't agree with the voice.

_Harry, you should forgive Sirius._

_But I don't want to, Harry!_

_You have to._

_Why?_

_Why not?_

_Ha, your name is Harry!_

_Well, yours is too!_

_We sound similar._

As you could see, things were not going so well. Fortunately, being the excellent mum she is, Lily stopped yelling at James.

"Oh, Remus!" she cooed, completely ignoring James' angry glances at Remus' hopeless expression. "Can you do me a favour?"

"What is it, Lily?" Remus asked tiredly, suddenly noticing the new boy in the room.

"I wanted you to meet—"

"AAH!" Remus screamed, running up to the boy with his wand in his hand. "I saw him! I _saw _him!"

Harry was taken aback. He'd always thought Remus was extremely mature, but it appears that he freaked out over the smallest of things.

"Er…Remus?" Lily asked unsurely. "Are you alright?"

"That feckin eejit made me think I was going mental!" Remus screamed hysterically. "But, he _exists_!"

Harry gawked at the supposed sane Marauder.

"Er, yes…I do exist…I'm the Boy Who Lived!" he announced, before biting his lip, realizing what he'd just said.

Lily giggled. It was unnerving to see his mother giggle. But she giggled. It was a high pitched girly giggle, not at all what he wanted to hear his mother do. But she did it. She giggled.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I'm the Boy Who's Still Living!"

James stared on dreamily at Lily.

"Hey, Evans, wanna, ya know, go out with me?"

"Bloody hell, Potter, for the last time, NO!"

Lily glared at James for a couple of seconds, but then turned around and smiled at Harry as if she had not just screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Anyway, Nigel, this is where I leave you," Lily said, confusing Harry as to why she was sounding like a bloody centaur. "But don't hesitate to come by my friends if these guys give you trouble!"

Lily gave a small giggle when Harry blushed, and turned around to start to skip off. Unfortunately, she made one major mistake. She forgot about her super short and loose skirt. She had stopped holding it, and the skirt fell down.

James looked at Lily dreamily; Remus' jaw dropped; Sirius burst into uncontrollable laughter; Harry turned away, blushing profusely; and Peter ran up to Lily and started to feel her up.

"Is this what a girl feels like?" Peter muttered, tapping Lily's legs and butt with his pudgy hands.

"AUGH!" Lily shrieked, jumping away from Peter. Unfortunately, she tripped over her bloody skirt and fell down.

Sirius continued to howl with laughter while Remus rubbed his eyes to make sure that what was happening was real. He then took this opportunity to pull out his camera and take a wonderful picture.

Lily, as she was laying on the ground, at least figured that James would take the time to help her back up, because he did have that silly little crush on her. Alas, it did not seem like luck was on Lily's side. James was busy scolding Peter for feeling his girl up, but he seemed to be rather curious on Peter's opinion. Lily promptly decided James was good for nothing, along with the rest of the Marauders. But then she felt a pair of hands reach out to help her up, and she smiled.

Harry didn't know why he did it. He had been facing his back towards Lily, but he couldn't just leave his mother laying there with her skirt on the ground. Lily blushed and smiled gratefully at Harry, pulled up her skirt, and the continued to make her dignified exit up to her dormitory.

"Hey, Prongs," Sirius said as his laughter died down. "You missed you opportunity with Evans."

James stopped scolding Peter immediately, "Damn."

Remus decided that it wasn't kind to continue making the new kid, who was looking rather uncomfortable, feel left out. So he walked up to Harry and started talking to him.

"I'm Remus Lupin," he said, giving a warm smile.

"I'm, er, Nigel. Nigel Williams. I used to go to Beauxbatons."

"Nice to meet you. Sorry, you had to meet these _three idiots_."

Harry grinned, "It's fine. Are they always like this?"

"Yes," Remus said shortly, not in the mood to elaborate on the idiocy of his friends. The list would end up being endless. "You speak French, then?"

"Yeah," Harry said, in a 'duh' kind of voice.

"Cool. I can speak some French too," Remus said, a smug smile creeping onto his face.

Harry gave a small nod, but then turned to the three boys, who were staring at Harry in awe.

"Erm," Harry said, feeling a little uncomfortable. It was weird to have three boys whom he had either known or was his father to be gaping at him. "Is there something on my face?"

"Does your hair ever lie flat?" James asked suddenly.

Harry could see Remus hitting his head against the floor out of the corner of his eye.

"Erm…no…" Harry said slowly, not liking where this conversation was heading. He then remembered that James liked Quidditch. "Hey, so d'you play much Quidditch?"

Any suspicious look James had in his eyes was replaced with a childish excitement.

"YEAH! QUIDDITCH IS GREAT!" James yelled, jumping up and down on the Gryffindor couch.

"Prongs, shut up, get down," Remus muttered, yanking at James' arm.

"BUT QUIDDITCH, MOONY!" James exclaimed, leaping onto Peter's back.

This appeared to be a well-practiced tradition. James started to act as if he had a lasso, and was a cowboy while Peter skipped around the room. Sirius then started to make a bunch of wolf-calls and sing "Quidditch the glorious sport." Remus, on the other hand, did not seem too fond of this tradition. He started wailing at the top of his lungs for everyone to shut up, not that it made a difference.

Harry now understood why Lily's offer was one of the most amazing things anyone could have done for him. He was already having a bad day, and now he had to deal with screaming banshees. It was terrible with all the Marauders screaming at the top of their lungs at the single mention of Quidditch.

Remus sent a dirty look at Harry, as if blaming _him_ for James' insanity. Harry couldn't see why it was _his_ fault. He had only mentioned Quidditch, it was the rest of the Marauders who took it upon themselves to react in the way they did.

After exactly eight minutes, this ritual finished. Harry, however, had trouble deciding whether the ritual was supposed to be eight minutes, or if it just ended when Lily Evans threatened to hex the boys into the next millennium until they shut up. Harry sent a grateful look to Lily, who grinned back. Harry's eyes were then drawn to the tight pant she was wearing. Lily rolled her eyes and motioned for Harry to come forth.

"Sorry I didn't come earlier, Nigel," Lily said, attempting to make her shirt longer. "I was trying to find some pants. But, obviously, my roommates said this was all I was allowed to wear – they're going to be the death of me," she paused and noticed Harry was wearing a stupid grin on his face. "So, you sick of the boys yet?"

"Not yet," Harry said, turning around and seeing James glaring daggers at him. "But I do think I should be going now; gotta start bonding now."

Lily shrugged, seeming a little put out, but reentered her dorm. Harry could hear her yelling at her roommates. He turned around and made his way back to the Marauders.

"What did you talk to Evans about?" James demanded, his good mood from the mention of Quidditch gone.

"Nothing," Harry snapped – it probably didn't help his case very much. "She's just welcoming me."

"Oh, okay then," James said, sticking his nose in the air.

"Blimey, Prongs," Remus said, disapproving of James' behavior. "Get back here."

James turned around, "What?"

"Calm yourself. You haven't introduced each other properly. You go first."

James rolled his eyes at Remus' peacemaker attitude.

"_Potter_. James Potter," James said, sticking his hand out.

"Williams. Nigel," Harry said, but not looking quite at James, but in fact, what was going on behind him.

James looked confused, "You, er, Nigel, erm, you _shake _the hand."

After a warning glare from Remus, Harry shook James' hand. His dad's hand. James had a rather firm handshake, which Harry thoroughly enjoyed.

"Excellent," Remus said, nodding importantly while James went back to staring dreamily at the girls' dormitory. "I'm Remus Lupin."

"Nigel Williams," Harry said automatically.

"Sorry about James, by the way. He's got a small, little, kiddy, crush on Evans. Despite what James believes, we all know they're never going to get together. Sirius and I have betted fifty galleons against it – much of the school disagrees –; we're going to be rich soon."

Upon hearing this, Harry broke into a hysterical laughter.

"Er, Nigel, get up, stop laughing, it isn't funny, you'll make Prongs suspicious. _He'll get mad at me_," Remus hissed, covering Harry's mouth.

Harry sobered up and tried _really_ hard not to think about the fifty galleons Remus and Sirius would be losing.

"Anyway, time to introduce you to Padfoot…Padfoot?"

Harry stifled a laugh as Remus turned around. He did not like what he was seeing. Sirius had conjured a lasso and was riding on the back of Peter yelling out, "Yippee Yah Yo Kahyay!" It was an unnerving sight, but nothing compared to what Peter was doing. Peter was swinging his shoulders up and down and making _donkey _noises whilst sticking his tongue out in weird directions.

"Padfoot!" Remus called half-heartedly, knowing that he'd be ignored. "Oh whatever, Nigel, I'll introduce you…the crazy one is—"

Harry decided to make Remus' life harder.

"—Which crazy one?"

"The…oh…the _fat_ one is Peter Pettigrew, we call him Wormtail, and the one who looks like he's drunk – he's never been before though, Merlin knows what he'd be like – is Sirius Black, who we, er, _lovingly_," Remus cringed at his own word choice. There was no love, not even platonically, demonstrated in the name 'Padfoot'. "call Padfoot."

"_Right_," Harry said, dragging out the 'right', making Remus feel _very_ awkward.

"They're friendly, though," Remus added hastily, deciding that Harry's use of the word 'right' was out of wariness.

At this moment, however, Sirius decided it would be a good idea to throw out his lasso screaming, "Gotta catch the evil, lanky, Prongs-thingy majig…with the ugly face…and weird glasses!"

Sirius' aim was also, quite surprisingly, good. He caught Harry by the neck and was proceeding to drag him across the floor.

Remus chuckled nervously at Harry's skeptical expression.

"Padfoot, let Nigel go," Remus said. Sirius did not seem to hear him so he raised his voice. "Padfoot, let the lanky one go!"

As this sentence was stated in Sirius-speak, Sirius was able to understand Remus' desperate cries. He unlooped the rope from Harry's neck while Peter still made the donkey sounds. Harry, on the other hand, glared at Remus.

"They _are _friendly," Remus protested weakly, knowing that the battle was lost.

Suddenly, James let out a yelp, signifying that he had snapped out of his daydream, startling Peter so much that he fell over and Sirius that he jumped right off Peter's back. Remus, however, did not flinch and calmly walked over to James and rested his arm on his shoulder in what he seemed to think was a comforting manner.

"What is it, Prongs?"

"SWISS CHEESE!"

Remus blinked. "Excuse me?"

"The cheese! The one with holes! Swiss cheese!" James repeated.

Remus' face remained blank.

"SWISS CHEESE! THE CHEESE! I LIKE CHEESE! YOU DON'T LIKE CHEESE!" James yelled once more, now waving his arms wildly – knocking Harry to the ground – as if it were helping.

"What does cheese have to do with anything?" Remus asked, worrying about his friend's sanity.

Sirius seemed to understand the meaning for the cheese, as a look of horror swept through his face.

"THE CHEESE, MOONY!" James said again, this time accompanied by Sirius.

Remus exchanged a helpless glance with Harry, who was snickering. He seemed to have understood what the cheese meant.

Sirius had proceeded to use adjectives.

"A nice big hunk of white, round, Swiss cheese!"

Peter, for the first time in his life, got something before Remus did. He started to touch his tailbone wildly. Sirius caught on to what Peter was doing and started pinning his thumbs into James' scalp, in what Harry assumed were meant to represent antlers.

"OW!" James yelped, and Sirius backed away. "The cheese!"

After what seemed like hours, Remus understood exactly what James had been trying to reference.

"Oh _Merlin_! The _cheese_!" Remus said, his eyes looking undeniably frightened.

Harry, although knowing _exactly_ what the cheese was, decided to make the Marauders' life harder.

"What does the cheese represent?"

"Oh, it means R—" Peter started, before James' hand clasped over his mouth.

"I like cheese," James said, nodding importantly, while keeping his hand firmly placed over Peter's mouth, as if this answered Harry's question.

In fact, had Harry not known what the cheese was, he would've taken that as an appropriate answer.

"Er, Nigel," Remus asked, thinking about how to word his question so that it didn't sound awkward. "Where will you be sleeping?"

Harry raised his eyebrow, leaving a _very_ concerned Remus. It appeared that the Marauders were not very tactful. It was like a million Rons coming to take over the world!

"You already know," Harry said, smiling pleasantly.

Remus did not like the sound of that. Sirius went forth to comfort Remus. Harry could tell that Remus was not enjoying the noogies as a form of comfort. Peter, on the other hand, did not seem to comprehend what Harry's answer was.

"I don't already know."

Harry rolled his eyes, and tried – the keyword being tried – to hide the distaste upon having to look directly into Peter's eyes.

"_Your dormitory_."

Peter let out a shriek.

"OH NO! THE CHEESE!"

* * *

Lily was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. She hated her friends. They were mean.

"Mary…" Lily growled in what she thought was a threatening manner. "I told you a million times, I would like to wear a _normal _pair of pants."

Mary giggled in a way that Lily found unnerving.

"So are you telling me that black pants aren't normal? But I hear _James_ loves black pants!"

"_Shut up, Mary_!" Lily hissed. "_He_, and his perverted mind, are major reasons why I must get normal pants!"

Mary let out a delighted squeal.

"I always knew you got dressed for James Potter!"

"AUGH! I DO NOT GET DRESSED FOR JAMES BLOODY POTTER!"

Mary put her hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay, no need to get your wand in a knot."

"_Change it_!" Lily demanded.

"Why don't you?"

Lily suddenly realized that that was a very good idea. She pointed her wand at her pants and flicked it. They suddenly turned highlighter pink and became _very, very _short.

"MARY MCDONALD!" Lily screeched, when she realized Mary had charmed it so that only she could change the clothes back to normal.

"Okay, I'll change it."

Mary swished her wand, and, much to Lily's delight, changed the pants back to normal.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," Mary said, stifling a giggle. "Anyway, I'm off to breakfast, bye!"

With that, Mary bolted out of the dormitory as fast as she could.

Lily flopped down onto her bed.

"Finally," she murmured to her teddy bear. "Peace, and quiet."

She then felt a strange urge for Swiss cheese. Lily hid it from the public, but she had a strong addiction to cheese. Especially Swiss cheese. They always had the perfect amount of holes that she could stick her tongue through before she devoured it. So, she walked over to her trunk, where she hid her secret cheese stash. But when she looked inside the container, it was _empty_.

It was a terrible dilemma. What would she do without cheese? She kept going through her trunk, through her Cheddar cheese box, Parmesan, even the _Blue _cheese box, but there was nothing.

"My cheese…" she moaned.

Suddenly she heard a yell. It sounded like it was coming from the Common Room. In fact, it sounded a lot like Pettigrew's voice.

"OH NO! THE CHEESE!"

This made Lily furious. She knew Pettigrew loved to eat, but he had _never_ gone as far as to steal her cheese. He had sounded panicky. What injustice had he done to the cheese? To _her _cheese?

She stormed out of her dormitory and stood at the top of the stairs.

"I WANT MY CHEESE!"

Whatever commotion was going on at the bottom of the stairs ceased immediately. The five boys wore dumbfounded expressions on their face, well, aside from Remus, who appeared to be having a coughing fit, probably in an attempt to stifle his laughter. Sirius and Peter stood there, gaping at Lily.

"Your _ch_—" James stopped abruptly as he took in Lily's appearance.

Harry seemed to be nodding knowingly, and rather maturely in Lily's opinion.

"Your friends dressed you again?"

"What?" Lily asked, before looking down at her top. It was see-through, and a crop top.

To make a long story short, Lily screamed and ran back into her dormitory, cursing both Mary _and _James.

**A/N: What do you think? Good? Bad? Indifferent? **

**I'm very pleased with the popularity of this story. I've had 9 reviews for 3 chapters (which, for a 2wk old account is pretty good) and...drum roll please... TWENTY, 20, 2-0, followers! It's amazing! I hadn't expected this much popularity, in fact, it was only started because one day I was hyper. It was on the side from my main story (Marauders Together Forever), but this has proven itself to be liked by more people, which has inspired me to continue the writing of this story. **

**I'd like to thank the reviewers: Jharry1960, The Cloaked Invisible, the new reader AccioStone, and Harry1675. In response to Harry1675, I've decided to keep Lily bubbly, but that'll come into play later. She's really random, I know, but a lot of this is a buildup towards her overall character later. **

**Anyway, you can just type a review in the box, it'll make me want to keep going. I'm going to remind you that they do help, as this story would've never continued had it not been for the numerous reviewers and followers.**


	5. Some Awkward Conversations

**A/N: I know, I'm _so _sorry! I'm so terrible! I really should have updated, but in my defense, it's hard to find a moment when I'm hyper and have time to write! Oh well, I hope you enjoy this chapter, which, I should warn you, is filled with ridiculousness (whoever invented the word ridiculous is my best friend, there is no other word in the English language to describe this.) This chapter is for Harry1675, who was my only reviewer. Thanks for the review!**

**Chapter 5: Some Awkward Conversations**

"I don't get it," James said. "Why's she cursing _me_? I didn't ask her to wear that sexy top! _Although_…you have to admit, her—"

Harry slammed his hands over his ears. He did _not_ need to know this. This was his _mother_, for Merlin's sake! Even if she was an attractive teenager right now, what mattered was who she was in the future!

Apparently, though, he did not have to slam his hands over his ears as hard as he did, for someone was thinking along the same lines as him.

"_Shut up, Prongs_," Remus hissed, putting his hand over James' mouth rather gutsily. "We do not need to know the details of Lily's, er, parts."

"Oh," James said, looking crestfallen. "Let me go and ask her why she was cursing me unnecessarily."

"Er, Prongs, I don't think that's such a good idea…" Remus said trailing off.

Harry had to say that he agreed with this teenage Remus. In fact, Remus seemed to be the only sensible one out of this infamous group, if he conveniently forgot Remus' previous outburst upon seeing him.

"Hey, Prongs!" Remus called. "At least remember your—" It was _too _late. James had already frozen the staircase using a nifty spell and had disappeared in the girl's dormitory. Remus seemed to want to make this more dramatic, so he completed his sentence whilst trailing off at the empty staircase. "…wand…"

"Why does he need his wand?" Peter asked Sirius, although it was quite clear that Remus had been the one with the warning, which James did not heed. "It's only Evans."

Sirius nodded importantly. "Because Evans is a strong witch, while Prongs is a mere, feeble being."

"But I'm not as cool as Prongs," Peter said, looking thoroughly depressed. "Are you saying that I'm even worse than Evans?"

"Yup."

Harry stared at the insensitive Sirius. He was always so perfect for advice in the future, Harry was having a lot of trouble visualizing him any different. At least he was using his terrible advice skills to someone who deserved it. Peter was a bloody traitor, therefore any bad advice _must_ go to him. Better Peter than Harry anyway.

"Wondering how I put up with him?" Remus muttered in Harry's ear.

Harry jumped up. That was rather creepy. Remus flinched and stepped back, oblivious to what he had done that evoked such a reaction out of Harry.

Peter seemed to be tired of playing donkey now. He flopped down on the couch next to the fireplace.

"How are you liking Hogwarts, Nigel?"

Harry unconsciously scooted to the end of the couch, leaving a gaping gap between the two.

"You're a little daft, aren't you?" Harry asked snidely, something he'd always wanted to ask Peter.

Peter looked at Harry, his blue eyes hurt and confused.

"Sir Pettigrew," Peter beamed at the nickname, missing the sneering that was accompanied along with it. "I have been here for one night, and haven't gone to any classes."

"But, what about so far?" Peter asked.

Harry stood up abruptly. It had been about an hour of Harry in the past, and he already had to talk to Pettigrew. This was simply too much for Harry's poor head to handle, so it was prudent that he abandon the conversation. Then he suddenly remembered something that had been christened "The Cheese" by the Marauders.

"When is the next full moon?"

Sirius, Peter, and Remus all turned to Harry and gaped. The room was very silent. Harry was waiting for the crickets to chirp. It didn't happen.

"Tonight," Sirius said slowly, suspiciously looking at Harry.

Harry widened his eyes. Remus continued to look curiously at Harry.

"Er, why are you asking, Nigel?"

Harry shrugged, knowing that he couldn't reveal his knowledge of Remus being a werewolf without being discovered.

"Are you a werewolf too?" Peter blurted out.

Harry deliberately chose not to look at Peter and point out the fact that he used the word 'too'. He noticed that Remus and Sirius were holding their breaths, and were also trying not to look at Peter. Well, Remus was. Sirius looked murderous and scared at the same time.

"No," Harry said, grinning as he thought of a brilliant plan. "But back at home, I used to go on full moon strolls with my roommates. I hope that this tradition can be carried on here."

There was more silence. In fact, Remus started to sweat profusely.

"Are you okay, Remus Lupin?" Harry asked, walking over to the teenage version of the best Defense Against the Dark Arts professor he had ever had.

Remus nodded weakly. "Positively spiffy."

The room was back to being silent. Very silent.

"Er," Peter said hesitantly. "This is the second time this has happened. Where are the crickets?"

Sirius and Remus turned to the window, both listening intently.

Despite having thought the same thing moments ago, Harry decided to speak.

"This isn't some story where everything works on cue, _Peter_," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

Remus looked at Harry oddly, rather confused as to why Harry was so mean to Peter. Yes, Peter was weird. Yes, Peter was fat. Yes, Peter smelled funny. Yes, Peter was ugly. Yes, Peter was a rat. Yes, Peter liked trees. Yes, Peter was dumb. But Harry couldn't have discovered these reasons yet, so there was no reason for Harry to act so rude towards Peter.

Suddenly, there was a rumbling sound. It sounded like an earthquake…only the ground wasn't shaking.

"Ya know, Wormtail," Sirius said, looking warily at the place where the rumbling was coming from. "I hope you weren't right about the cricket thing…this sounds like a giant group of crickets about to burst into the room."

There weren't crickets. There was only one James Potter running out of the dormitory, screaming, and holding onto his buttocks as if they were his most prized possession.

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN, JAMES POTTER!"

The four winced as they heard Lily's yell and the dormitory door slam.

"Er, Prongs?" Remus asked hesitantly, whilst Sirius laughed hysterically. "What happened?"

James crossed his arms stubbornly. "She kicked me out for no reason at all!"

Harry hid a small smile at his father's pathetic reaction. He had always imagined his father as someone big and strong, but it seemed that he was more pathetic than he.

"Yes, but, er, Prongs, we can hardly believe you were innocent in this matter," Remus continued. "Did you say anything, _anything_, that may have possibly made her upset?"

James looked guiltily up at Remus. "I may have referenced her translucent shirt, chocolate, and a mangy mutt's bed."

This only led to Sirius laughing harder, while Harry pointed out that they were referencing his bed, which effectively shut Sirius up. Peter continued to look blankly at James, trying to make a correlation between three rather different sounding objects. Remus and Harry shared a disgusted look.

"James!" Remus reprimanded. "You _know_ that made her mad last time. Why'd you do it again?"

"I was thinking of a chat up line, okay?" James defended himself.

Remus opened and closed his mouth wordlessly.

"Why, in the name of Merlin, did you think that was a good pickup line?" Harry asked, looking exasperated at his father. "I could have done better than that!" He exclaimed, but it didn't seem like James understood his patheticness.

"What do you have to do with anything, Nigel?" James said bitterly.

Harry didn't answer. Of course that was something you could say to your father when he was older and probably was aware of their son. Now, when Harry played it out in his head, that line just sounded stupid.

Peter finally understood what James had said to Lily.

"Prongs! That's not a good pickup line!" Peter exclaimed.

"But she looks so pretty when she's angry," James whined. "I had to get her to talk to me!"

"But she was already mad at you," Remus pointed out.

"Shut up, Moony. You have no experience with girls," James snapped.

Dang, his father was bipolar! One minute he's defending his actions, and the next he's lashing out at his friends.

"It's okay, Prongs," Sirius said, earning a glare from Remus. Harry didn't understand why. "You don't have to worry. I'll help you come up with some brilliant pickup lines that won't leave you with implying sex, all right?"

Harry cringed as he thought of possible lines Sirius could come up with. Remus looked equally worried. Harry had to admit that he did feel rather bad for Remus. It was a full moon night, and he had to deal with this kind of insanity.

"No, Padfoot," Remus said, interrupting whatever excited reply James was going to say. "We all know you may start to imply dirtier things, that will make Lily even _more_ mad at James. Remember what happened last time?"

Sirius and James shared equal, bemused looks.

"Last week," Remus prompted, glancing helplessly at Peter who replied with, "I'm sure whatever it was, it was excellent. Padfoot and Prongs did it, after all."

"So, anyway," Sirius said, seeming to have ignored Remus' warning, and took Peter's advice instead. "I've got a nice cheat sheet that you can use."

"Guys," Remus said, with a certain edge to his tone that made Harry start to get rather nervous. Who knew Remus could sound so threatening?

"Really? That sounds brilliant!" James said, with much enthusiasm.

"Guys!" Remus said, raising his voice a bit, and now adding a glare that made Harry wince, even though it was quite clear that it wasn't directed at him.

"So, coming up to the dormitory room, Prongs?" Sirius asked, turning away.

"GUYS!" Remus exclaimed, now starting to look panicky. "Not tonight, okay?" He definitely wasn't in the mood to deal with an angry Lily Evans.

"Yeah, that sounds like an excellent idea!" James started to head up to the dormitory.

Catching Remus' exasperating and pleading eye, Harry took pity and walked up to his teenage father figures, who were both walking up a certain set of stairs.

"Hey, James, Sirius," Harry said.

The two turned around in unison and spoke, also in unison. Harry found it rather odd, seeing as the two were not blood related…or were they? That would be quite a plot twist, wouldn't it? Not that it would be surprising, his entire life seemed to revolve around plot twists. Harry shook his head, and tried to keep his head focused on the task at hand.

"Yes, Nigel?"

"Given the circumstances of tonight," Harry faltered slightly, trying not to focus on the eyes of the two boys. Or at least the hazel ones. He could feel them ripping his heart. "Remus – er, I mean I – recommend that you do this another day. Because of, you know, tonight."

Sirius and James both widened their eyes.

"You're right, Nigel," James said. "That would be a bad risk. Thank you. You give extraordinary advice."

Harry beamed at the compliment, while Remus stared bitterly at his two supposed best friends.

"That's right, listen to him. That was my bloody advice, I tell you, mine!" Remus said dramatically. He must have been watching many Muggle movies.

James and Sirius flopped down on the couch, both ignoring Remus, much to the boy in questions annoyance.

"I'm bored," Sirius whined.

"Me too," James said, unhelpfully.

Peter, who had been frantically glancing at his watch, looked up to the two boys as if they were his heroes. Although, Harry reckoned, they probably were.

"You have detention, though," Peter reminded them loyally. "In five minutes and forty-two seconds, well, now thirty-six, sorry, I mean, twenty-nine seconds, no, twenty-five—"

"—It's okay, Wormy. I think they get the picture," Remus said, but was ignored. He tried again, this time speaking in Peter-speak. "Prongs and Padfoot are smart enough to understand everything you were about to say."

Peter nodded and stopped talking. Harry was absolutely disgusted. Of course, he was a bit biased seeing as he knew of Peter's true personality. Others wouldn't be disgusted, but might actually admire Peter for his faith and loyalty to his friends. As if.

Sirius and James both exchanged frantic looks.

"Damn," Sirius muttered. "Minnie'll get all mad at us! She might set the demon child on us!"

"Run! We can take some secret passageways!" James exclaimed, putting his fist in the air in some sort of heroic pose. Harry chuckled, he could see some similarities between himself and James.

"But I don't want to run," Sirius said, pouting. "I need my donkey."

Peter ran up to Sirius and leaned down, making it easy for Sirius jump onto him. Sirius did so, and the two boys ran to the detention room, Sirius waving around his fake lasso again.

Remus gave a loud sigh of relief as he sat down next to Harry.

"I am so glad to be rid of them," Remus muttered. "I need some peace and quiet around here."

"I would agree," Harry lied. But he wanted to be kind to Remus as it was the full moon. "The insanity is maddening sometimes."

Remus raised his eyebrow. "You know that didn't really make much sense."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, looking slightly embarrassed. "Oh well."

There was an awkward silence. Harry decided to break it. Awkward silences and he did not bode very well.

"You excited for tonight?" Harry asked, figuring that it was quite fun to mess with the Marauders, especially Remus. He decided that he understood why James and Sirius took such pleasure in doing so.

Remus did a double take.

"What about tonight?" He said carefully, although his heart was beating very fast. He was certain that 'Nigel' could see it beating out of his chest.

Harry smiled mysteriously. "Well, whatever it is, good luck. I know you're going to need it. You're a brilliant wizard, Remus Lupin."

Remus was taken aback. Harry was equally taken aback by his own mouth. How could he have been so stupid? If he wanted to be caught, well, he certainly was going about the right way of doing it. He supposed Ron was rubbing off on him. Damn. He was going to need to make Hermione Granger his new best friend so he could have some sanity rub off on him instead.

"Well, anyway, bye, Remus. I'm going to the dormitory."

Harry walked off, leaving Remus to his very disoriented, confused, and worried thoughts.

* * *

"Why is Mr Pettigrew here?" McGonagall demanded, looking at the three boys exasperatedly.

"Ask Padfoot, er, I mean, Sirius," James said quickly, getting his quill out to get a head start on lines.

McGonagall turned straight at Sirius, giving a look which was clearly demanding an answer out of the big gob of his.

"I need my donkey," Sirius stated simply, getting off of Peter. Peter nodded hastily.

McGonagall stared incredulously at the two.

"Your…donkey?"

"Yes, my donkey," Sirius reiterated. "Right, Donks?"

Peter brayed in response. McGonagall stared, looking very much traumatized as Peter attempted to buck.

"And my donkey stays with me!" Sirius said, stomping his foot against the ground as if it helped prove his point.

McGonagall seemed lost for words at the situation, as well as with Peter's eagerness to pretend to be a donkey.

"Fine, just fine," McGonagall said at last. "Excuse me while I go see Madam Pomfrey. This is too early in the morning to deal with this."

McGonagall, about to walk off, did not miss the excited look that James and Sirius exchanged.

"And do not think of leaving detention, boys," she added, wishing that the two would poof into sane students who wouldn't think of escaping detention. "I have your wands – yes, you too, Mr Pettigrew, or, er, Donks –" Peter beamed at McGonagall's usage of his donkey name. "and I have a portrait of a girl on guard to warn me if you escape. That would add ten detentions to your, er, total. So don't even try."

"Of the seven year old girl?" Sirius asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes."

Sirius gave a very visible shudder.

Feeling satisfied, McGonagall left the classroom. She almost laughed at the wariness James and Sirius had around a portrait of a seven year old. She would have to give it an extra cleaning done by her personally. However, she could not continue to celebrate as her headache returned, after she heard the sound of Pete – sorry, Donks – braying.

**A/N: Did you like it? You know what's weird? On the last chapter I stated how much reviews inspire me and all, and then on the next chapter I got one. Oh well. I enjoy writing this story, I just would like to hear your opinions. I strive to improve my writing, after all.**


	6. The Chapter Where Time Is Wasted

**A/N: Thank you for so patiently waiting for the arrival of this chapter. I hope you enjoy it. It was fun to write. The title refers to both the time lapse as well as the chapter content XD**

**Chapter 6: The Chapter Where Time Is Wasted**

The most unnerving thing about the day for Harry was that it felt quite uneventful. He didn't understand it. He would have thought that the Marauders would have kept things interesting, as he had heard from those who knew them, but _nnoo_. They were so boring! If he wanted to go to a circus, he would have said so. But he wanted to watch pranks, and rub it in the Weasley twins' faces that he got to learn so many new things. Yet the most he had done was watch Peter bray like a donkey, Sirius become a cowboy, James stupidly stare at his mother, Remus get very confused, and a teenager in a short skirt and a crop top. He absolutely refused to think of Lily Evans like his mother. That was too difficult. He made the decision to treat Lily as he would any other girl. Plus, he would probably learn more that way and keep his identity more of a secret.

Actually, if he were honest with himself, he would have to say that he wasn't doing the _best_ job at keeping his identity a secret. It wasn't that he was a bad actor; it was all Dumbledore's fault. Dumbledore sent him out without _any_ disguise, it wouldn't take a Hermione Granger to notice the correlation between James Potter and Nigel Williams.

Harry had decided to make a spur of the moment decision, and he charmed his hair blonde. He then sat casually in the dormitory, waiting for people to show up. And that brings us to present time.

Harry was just about at wit's end from sheer boredom when the dormitory door creaked open. Two boys walked in. Harry could almost guess where the other two boys were, one was drooling over Lily while the other was probably providing moral support. At least, with the two that had walked in, Harry felt moderately comfortable around them, seeing as neither were traitors, and he had spent time with these two boys in the future. Their names were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

Now, upon seeing Harry, Sirius fell to the ground laughing, while Remus shut the door and blinked a few times. Harry couldn't help but feel that the two boys were reacting at the expense of him.

"Er, what?" Harry asked, trying to seem oblivious to the fact that his hair had randomly become blonde.

Sirius laughed even harder, "NIGEL! Who pranked you? I have to give them five galleons!"

Harry looked abashed. Thanks for caring, Sirius. Had Sirius been thinking he would fail to protect himself from a simple colour-changing charm?

Remus tried to take a calmer, more rational, and perhaps more sane approach. "Er, Nigel, what happened to your hair?"

Harry decided it would not be prudent if he continued to play the fact that he had no idea with what happened to his hair. Damn him and his spur of the moment decisions. They seemed to be making everything harder for him! Yet, he couldn't just randomly say that he wanted to dye his hair blonde! So, he decided that he would pretend that his hair had always been like this.

"What about my hair?"

Both Harry and Remus tried _really_ hard to ignore Sirius.

"Er, Nigel, I'm not really sure if you are aware of this matter," Remus said slowly, and rather warily, as if he were unsure how Harry would react. "But your hair is blonde."

Harry tried hard to raise his eyebrow to provide the skeptical look he was going for. He ended up pushing down on his right eyebrow to make it look like his left eyebrow was raised. Sirius clapped his hands sardonically, his grey eyes full of life, happiness, and mirth. Harry didn't like seeing the mirth in his godfather's eyes.

"So?" Harry asked, making Remus feel very awkward. "It's always been."

And that forced Remus into nervous chuckles. Sirius stopped laughing and looked Harry in the eye.

"No," he said. "That's not true. You look like Prongs, who has black hair. Your hair was black."

Remus took a sigh of relief. "Oh good, I thought I was the only one," he paused, frowning slightly. "Although it shouldn't be much of a relief seeing as the person who agreed with me is a nutcase…"

"Oi!"

Harry tried to keep his façade going. "The both of you are mental!"

Sirius decided to not get offended by being called crazy, mental, a nutcase, or any other synonym for that, but to embrace it instead. So, he took a very low bow.

"I apologize," he said, in a deep voice sounding like it should belong to one of royalty. "I seem to have forgot to introduce myself. Sirius Black, known for his, er, mentalness, but cleverness as well. I like to think of myself as the ideal Gryffindor. I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

Harry blinked. Remus rolled his eyes, determined not to be thwarted by Nigel's vain attempts to do as such.

"Nigel Williams," he said calmly, pushing Sirius over, who produced an indignant noise. "You had black hair. Please inform us as to why your hair has suddenly changed colour."

Harry sighed very dramatically. "My hair has always been blonde."

Harry winced internally when he saw Remus and Sirius' incredulous looks. He _knew_ that he had to come up with a better retort than that. Perhaps he had directed too much attention to his hair by dying it blonde so that he doesn't look too much like his father. Damn.

"Well, fine," he said. "I decided that I didn't like my hair black anymore, so I wanted to try blonde."

This sent both Remus and Sirius into hysterical bouts of laughter, although it was rather clear that Remus was trying to hold it in.

"Sorry…" he said, trying to catch his breath. "No mean to be…ha…disrespectful, but—"

"—Sod respectfulness, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. "This is bloody hilarious! It's like picturing Prongs with blonde hair!"

"Er, it is picturing Prongs with blonde hair," Remus said, looking slightly confused.

"I know! This is the funniest thing to ever walk this planet!"

Harry didn't enjoy the laughing being done at his expense. First, these two practically ignore him all day, and now they start mocking his appearance. So what if his hair was blonde? Surely these two must have some sort of kindness!

Remus sobered up and took a calm and quiet approach to talking with Harry. "Er, Nigel, mate, er, perhaps you ought to change your hair _back_ to normal. I think it looks better on you."

"I'd reckon so too. Blonde hair doesn't look right, on you. I think black – haha, Sirius Black and black, haha, that's funny, right?"

Remus gave Sirius an exasperated and impatient look, and darted his eyes towards the night sky and back.

"Okay, fine Moony, I'm putting back on my serious face – haha, Sirius serious, haha, that's funny, right?"

Harry tried to think as to why he looked up to Sirius in the future. Based on this Sirius, he decided that he ought to be worried for his own sanity, if this was whom he considered his father figure and role model.

"Padfoot…" Remus said waringly. "I might Pitch Black soon if you keep up at this…"

"Okay, Moony," Sirius said, and then went over what Remus said. "Oh, Pitch Black, haha, Sirius Black and Pitch Black, haha, that's funny, right?"

Remus, in Harry's opinion, appeared to be losing his patience. Perhaps this was because there was only fifteen minutes before the moon was going to rise, and it was a long walk to the Whomping Willow.

"It was meant to be a bloody pun, you stupid prat!" Remus hissed.

"Oh, sorry…so, er, where was I?"

"_Who bloody cares_?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.

But, unfortunately, Remus was not saved, because Sirius' mind decided that it did have a purpose existing in Sirius' big head.

"Oh, I remember now!" Sirius said excitedly. "Black, haha—"

"Use the word 'ebony'," Remus said, looking more than just a bit mad.

"Fine," Harry was a little unsure how he was still following that conversation. "I think ebony hair looks nice on you." Remus plastered a knowing smile on his face. "Er, don't tell Prongs I said that…we all know I'm the best looks of us all!"

Harry decided it was time to take action before Sirius' ego became too big. "Actually, I think Remus looks better than you, to be honest…"

Sirius turned to look at Harry, looking as if he was on the verge of tears. "Oh, Nigel, you _wound_ me!"

Remus looked rather pleased, but remembered that he has a sense of responsibility and authourity to keep up.

"Okay, so—" Obviously, Sirius had to interrupt Remus _again_.

"So, er, Nigel," Sirius said, as if he had not acted completely out of whack only moments before. "Can you change your hair back, haha, back sounds like black, haha, Sirius Black Back, haha, that funny, right?" Sirius cringed at the glare Remus was giving him. "Shutting up now…anyway, Nigel, can you change your hair back now?"

Harry decided to cause this crew a couple more problems. "I don't know how…"

Harry also decided that it would decrease suspicion if he kept his hair blonde so that everyone forgot it was black and thus forget the correlation between his looks and James. He realized it would take a lot of luck, but he was the Boy-Who-Lived, for crying out loud!

Remus didn't think it was possible for anyone to deal with this much sanity in a single day. He couldn't even remember why he was friends with such messed up people…oh right. They because Animagus for him. He actually couldn't understand how it was possible, for he thought that it took cleverness and a brain to do so, which none of his friends seemed to possess.

Nonetheless, he decided to help the new kid out, who, even though he was trying to assimilate by making himself sound dumber, it was only right to assist a teenager in need.

"Here, Nigel, I got it," Remus tapped Harry's head and made his hair jet black once more.

"No, Moony, you did it wrong," Sirius whined. "You were suppose—"

Remus snatched Sirius' wand out of his hand before any nonsense could be done by it.

"We have to go," Remus whispered, hoping that if he were direct, Sirius would understand.

He didn't.

"Sirius, the cheese will rise!" Remus said with more force, although just as quietly.

Harry tried to listen, but couldn't hear anything. He thought he could guess, though, what Remus was telling Sirius with such an urgency.

Sirius suddenly looked very panicked. "Oh Merlin, how could I have forgot!"

Both Remus and Sirius took deep breaths and tried to remember their three c's: calm, cool, and collected.

Sirius was having some issues. "What's the second _c_?"

"Cool," Remus whispered.

"The third?"

"Collected."

"The first?"

"Bloody Merlin! Why didn't you—"

"Bloody Merlin, cool, and collected? I don't think so…"

"_Padfoot_! Calm, cool, and collected. Start over."

This time, the two took enough deep breaths to successfully manage the three c's.

Harry looked very amused with all this work, but couldn't help but feel a slight bit nervous over the fact that in ten minutes, the boy standing before him would become a lethal werewolf. It was a slight bit unnerving, so, being not in the mood to get frightened, he pushed the thought as far out of his head as he could.

"Anyway, er, Nigel, I have to go visit my mum – she's a little sick –, and my mates – Merlin, I shouldn't be allowed to call them that – want to come along. We'll be back tomorrow."

Sirius chose not to comment on Remus' comment on his 'mates'. After all, things were getting very serious (he even refrained from making a Sirius pun inside his head!). If they didn't hurry, a werewolf could end up materializing in the boy's Gryffindor dormitories!

Harry furrowed his brow, and tried to look very sad. "But, but, am I not your friend enough to come too? I don't want to be alone on my first night in this dormitory…"

Remus was about to take pity on him, when he remembered (he had somehow forgotten for a split second) that they were not going to visit his mum and actually he was about to turn into a dangerous monster.

"No, you can't come," Sirius said for Remus. "Come _on_. We have to go _now_!"

Remus was very cantankerous. Sirius was the reason they were crazy late, and now he was acting like it was all _his_ fault! Nevertheless, Remus realized that this was not an appropriate time to argue, but in fact, this was an appropriate time to panic and get to the Whomping Willow _as soon as possible_.

Of course, before he started to run, Sirius told Remus to take a deep breath and remember his three c's. This did not bode well with his mood, by any means whatsoever.

"Good luck!" Harry said, just before Sirius and Remus decided to run, leaving to two (more like just Remus) to wonder what was wrong in his explanation that luck would be necessary.

Harry was totally chill, though. He had had his fun, _and_ he wasn't about to get eaten by a werewolf. And that was when it hit him that he _really_ wanted to see his dad turn into Prongs. So he ran after the werewolf and his crew.

As Harry wandered into the Great outdoors, he saw Remus fall to the ground, screaming in pain, and three very panic stricken Marauders. Remus was about to transform from outside the tree!

James seemed to be trying to keep everyone calm, seeing as Remus was unable to do so given both his physical and mental state. Before ordering everyone to transform, he took a quick precursory glance, when someone caught his eye. He let out a small yelp, which did not put Remus in any less stress.

Sirius turned around.

"It's Nigel!" he yelled, unnecessarily pointing at Harry with a panicked but triumphant look upon his face.

Harry could tell that they wanted him to leave, and he knew he should too, but he _really_ wanted to see James turn into Prongs. He would tell him to quickly transform, but that would reveal that he was from the future, and that most definitely wouldn't help matters much. So he just stood there.

Remus let out a small moan as he started to transform. The werewolf was about to emerge.

"NIGEL, TURN AROUND!" Sirius commanded.

"DON'T LOOK!" James added.

Peter wanted to help too. "NOTHING SUSPICIOUS WILL HAPPEN HERE. LIKE WE AREN'T GOING TO DISAPPEAR OR SOMETHING SO NOTHING TO SUSPECT."

Both James and Sirius looked on the verge of murdering Peter, but thought the better of it when they turned around and saw that Remus the werewolf was starting to stand up to howl once at the moon.

"Damn," Sirius muttered.

After a quick "go" from James, the three transformed into their animal counterparts and got ready to control Remus.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes. It was the most beautiful sight that he had ever seen. The shaggy black dog actually looked as if it had some life to it, rather than being all scrawny and skinny. He couldn't see the brown rat which he had known as Scabbers, so he didn't have to have the image of Prongs distorted.

James had turned into the most elegant creature Harry had ever seen. He was almost glowing in the moonlight, his antlers gracefully nudging the werewolf in the right direction. Harry took a mental screenshot, wanting to remember this day for the rest of his life.

**A/N: Tada! It actually doesn't end totally ridiculously. We're starting to arrive at more of the plot now, this whole six chapters was just a setup XD**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, and tell me what you honestly think in a review!**

**I'd like to thank my reviewers: VeelaQueen01, zzz4730, and MelodyPond77! They're really supportive, and remind me of why I continue this story!**


End file.
